Little Beyond Over Baby Reindeer
Yes, like most, I was very impressed by Baby Reindeer. Is it the fact that it is accurate and that I am witnessing the reliving of an event that has happened, with the extra authenticity created by the fact that the person who experienced all those shocking things wrote the script and starred in it, or is it the act of a person confronting himself and transcending himself, that is, the monologue that is expected to be with himself, before the masses, all the troubles and weaknesses? Is it because it shows us the incident with its weaknesses and wounds, transforms the incident into something other than spending some time in front of the screen and leaves us, for example, in group therapy, leaving us with the feeling of being shaken and lost in intense thoughts after this heavy session, and transforming a subjective issue into a dialogue.
So, what prevented Richard Gadd from making a natural move to end the issue, even though he was subjected to persistent stalking by a woman named Martha in the TV series, and both he and those around him were negatively affected by this incident? Why would an average person - knowingly or unknowingly - allow such madness, even if it turns into a criminal act, succumbing to the desire for affirmation and admiration and at the risk of being harmed? In his relationship with Darrien, a TV writer who started solely business-oriented and then evolved into friendship, shortly before the persistent pursuit of the character Martha, he was subjected to systematic harassment by Darrien. Despite the sexual assaults he was subjected to while he was utterly defenceless and even unconscious, he found himself at his house again, and this meeting was not at all about taking revenge or anything like it. Is it possible for an average person to let it sit there without turning into a showdown?
What is normal? How many of us are lucky people within the " normal " standards? All of these turned into rain clouds of loaded thoughts, like carrying tons of water in my mind, but I had to understand the issue enough for it to rain down. I watched the series again a few weeks later. At one point in the suffocating cycle in which Richard Gadd had forced himself to remain so weak and helpless in the face of both Martha and Darrien, which he was aware of, Richard Gadd's sudden transformation of a monologue that he had to live with himself into a confession on stage in front of his audience was the final straw for him, indicating that the knot was starting to unravel. Was it an expression that made it possible for a weak personality to easily handle, with all honesty, revealing the weaknesses that these most memorable and "normal" people would refrain from showing to the outside world? When he went to talk to his family about the video that appeared on the internet after the shocking incident that we can call the confession and confrontation that took place in this scene, he told them that a video in which he talked about being raped by a man on stage was on the internet, that felt ashamed of his family and that he thought they would perceive him as an incomplete person, an incomplete man. Father, "Am I incomplete in your eyes?" he asks. We then understand that he answers his concerns with his question and identifies with him because of the sexual assault he suffered in his childhood in the Catholic church. This scene answers a couple of unknowns that both Richard Gadd and the audience had difficulty understanding until that moment. The answer to why Gadd cannot make a complete break with those who harass him and put himself in environments where he will reencounter them on his own feet is right here. The trauma of being unable to say a word against the Catholic church, his family and his circle in the face of a severe event that his father experienced at a young age, perhaps being immediately silenced and suppressed even if he tried to do so, and probably have to go to that church again and again, at least every Sunday in complete silence and sorrow.
It's not just limited to his father. The repressed emotions that his father had to endure helplessly and who knows how many times were transferred to Richard both unconsciously through behavioural means and cellular and biological means. It is necessary to mention here an essential work by Mark Wolynn, which I read recently and was translated into Turkish as "It Didn't Start With You". Of course, this work did not start with Mark Wolynn. Bert Hellinger conducted the first scientific study on how trauma can be transmitted from generation to generation within the family. What is the essence of this crucial information that starts with Bert Hellinger and extends to today with Mark Wolynn? Let me tell you a little bit about it. Hellinger is at the heart of family therapy by illuminating the destructive events that previous generations experienced in the past - a significant portion of which had the common feature of being either kept secret within the family or society or hidden and not talked about much - and determined that these caused cellular and psychic changes that could be passed on to the next generations. And a pioneer name who created a revolution in his soul. He observed that traumatic events such as the premature death of a parent, sibling or child, abandonment, crime or suicide can be an influential factor affecting subsequent generations. It opened a window that traumas experienced in the past and left deep traces on a person that can be passed on to the next generations, such as positive traits. Mark Wolynn, on a journey of inner discovery that he went on for purely personal reasons, met Hellinger's therapy methods, found the source of the distress he was in at that time and could not understand, and resolved it. By solving this problem, he managed to save himself and those who came after him from the burden of struggling in the same dark cycle. This personal journey of Richard Gadd probably started with an unplanned confession, turned into a dialogue with the audience, and then grew and evolved into a larger-scale group therapy in the format of a Netflix TV series. This is probably what he inherited from his father, where his father once carried himself to the place where he had been abused without resisting. I guess he and those born after him liberate themself from the cycle.
Let's think about what kind of a situation we will encounter if we turn the subject from the personal to the social, in line with the extraordinary information provided to us by Bert Hellinger and Mark Wolynn. Are the psychic and molecular changes and accumulations of exploited and colonial societies transmitted from generation to generation, expecting any historical transformations and revolutions?